Re-newing

Once upon a time, dear readers, people didn’t date, they courted. For centuries throughout the world a woman’s spouse was chosen by her family. A woman would have as much say in the man she married as she would with what color eyes she was born with. The race, age, religion, and monetary value of a future husband was pre-selected. In many cases the woman would be taken to a church or mosque or temple and there she would be married off to a total stranger whom she would have to spend the rest of her live with. The issue of love never coming into question, and as such the vast majorities of marriages were a matter of convinces rather then love.

Overtime the idea of an arranged marriage became obsolete and woman and men suddenly gained a vote in whom they would marry and in many cases how many times.

Today marriages are based on love, and the selections of the two parties involved are made by those two parties. The term “Love” becomes the key factor in a marriage and things like religion ethnicity and monetary value fall onto the back burner to be dealt with after marriage. Perhaps that is why in the United States one in every two marriages ends in divorce.

The main difference between a drivers license and a marriage license is that one is required to prove you are emotionally ready for a drivers license while a marriage license can be gained at any 24 hour chapel this side of Las Vegas. So the parties never really know if there ready or compatible with there designated partner until after the marriage.

A drivers license must be renewed every few years in order to prove that the driver and the car are still compatible. Why not offer the same option of the marriage licence, every 10 years require our happily married couple to take a test to determine if both parties are still on the same page as to what they want, need, and expect out of a marriage. If they pass we renew the license if they fail well then a retest can be taken or the license can be desolved it’s up to the couple.

Marriage is a difficult commitment one that requires both parties to be open understand and eager to communicate about what they want and need from there relationship, but when both parties are not on the same page in terms of what is expected from a marriage due it because an even larger challenge then we expected.

A wise woman once told me “marriage is hard enough to deal with when your both on the same page,” issues like different faiths and different cultural customs can at times make a marriage almost impossible to withstand for long periods of time, that’s not to say that a marriage of a Jewish man and a Muslim woman would be impossible but rather that the additional issues of “well that’s not how we do things in my culture” and “your wrong my faith says this” can pull an otherwise happy marriage into shreds. As it stands it is hard enough finding a person one can be compatible with for the rest of our lives but when adding the issue of race and religion into the equation it becomes nearly impossible.

So for those few couples out there who can make it work how bout giving a girl a few pointers.