The oral Issue

A friend of mine was recently set up on a date with a friend's cousin. The pair had decided to go to a local bar with a group of friends and eventually a handful from the group headed to a friend's house for a while. My friend had enjoyed the evening well enough. The guy seemed nice but as they sat chatting, he suddenly turned to her and asked, "So are we going to do this or what?" while looking from her mouth to his crotch. Her response. "Yeah…I'm going to go now. Later."

Fellatio, better known as male oral sex, is one of those topics that tend to raise a lot of opinions and a lot of questions. For many women, the act of oral sex isn't something they do because they want to or because they receive any pleasure out of it, but because it makes men happy.

For this week's column I hit the streets, interviewing friends, coworkers, and random strangers here and there to ask them about their thoughts on oral sex. Here is what I found out.

For some women it is simply better to receive than give, "It goes without saying that I'd rather have it done than do it. But I do enjoy giving it," one female in a steady relationship said. "It's empowering for me to know I can make him feel that good and either rush or delay his orgasm depending on how I feel."

Others feel quite differently about the topic. "I think it's easier for a man to disrespect a girl if she gives (fellatio) before sex. It really is a humiliating task," one CSUF alumna said. "Personally, I think oral sex is much more personal and intimate than plain old normal sex."

I think we have former president Bill Clinton to thank for this diverse view on oral sex.

His opinion that oral sex wasn't really sex caused a lot of people to have a more laid back feeling towards fellatio. But despite what Willie told us, oral sex is sex.

It's an intimate part of the relationship between men and women. It's not something to take lightly and not something to take part in if you are only doing so in order to make some guy happy. Especially if the relationship is still very new.

For those women who do feel comfortable giving oral sex, more power to you.

Be sure to be safe and to use protection, because many diseases are spread from unprotected oral sex due to the idea that it isn't really sex.

I wonder where we got that one from.

Know your partner and his views on the topic, and also make sure he's as willing to give as he is to receive. No part of a relationship should ever be one-sided.

As for those women out there who aren't fans of oral sex, my advice to you is don't do it. If you feel uncomfortable performing the act you shouldn't feel like you have to do it simply to make a guy happy.

Most guys can understand if a woman is hesitant to perform oral sex and will consider her feelings on the matter. Those that push a woman to do something she doesn't want to do isn't the type of guy a woman may want to spend her time or her energy on anyway.